Friendship At First Sight

I don't really believe in "Love at First Sight", but i do believe in "Friendship at First Sight". Here comes the why, when, where, what, who and how...

On the registration day of AIMST Foundation in Science's Programme, I wasn't in a hurry to find a new friend in this totally new environment, especially a friend who would later become my roommate, and maybe also a close friend of mine. However, my mom seems to be more desperate than me, and in a few minutes time, she found me 2 new friends, and all our parents started arranging for us to become roommates. The three of us sat there like statues, just blurted a few words occasionally to answer questions bombarded by each other's parents. Meanwhile, our parents chatted non-stop, as if they had been good friends since a long long time ago....

Let's name my new found friends A and B. From the first look, my instinct told me that we'll never become true friends. From the way they talk, the way they dress and the way they do things, I knew they weren't my "cup of tea". I don't know what kind of friends I want exactly, but definitely, they weren't the type of friends I'm searching for. For the next two days, I was totally stuck with them because I did not have the chance to meet any new friends other than them. Due to different interests and lack of topics, I always felt left out in their company. They had lots to talk with each other, but there just weren't any topics which I could join in. I was like a piece of jigsaw which has the shape that can fit exactly to the puzzle, but somehow, the designs on it could not match at all with the whole picture.

I knew my presence was as good as none, and that was why I was so depressed and homesick during the first 2 days here in AIMST. I felt so alone, and everytime my mom called, I really felt like crying. How i wish I could just go back home right there and then...However, I did not leave A and B because at that point, I really don't know anybody yet, and I wanted to search for someone who could replace them as my friend, someone who will never leave me out, someone who takes me seriously as their friend, not a light bulb or something. I also refrained from getting too close with them, just float loosely around them and then immediately detach from them when I successfully find friends which suites me.

Things weren't as hard as I thought. After two long lonely days, I finally found another 2 new friends, Yee Ling and Sherlyn, which I have endless topics to talk with. We found each other during orientation day, which was 2 days after the registration day. I was almost losing hope because I was thinking since so many days had passed, many lonely people would have found themselves friends and once groups had been formed, it's very hard for me to fit in, but that proved wrong. I fit into their group very well, and we've been together since then. Me and Yee Ling had many things in common, and we can sit on the bench outside our hostel and talk till midnight once we strike a topic which we both have interest in.

Me and yee ling. Oh yeah...and our lovely friend who happens to be a corpse...We took this during our visit to the disection hall in AIMST

I became more optimistic after that, my homesickness eased and I did not even panic when I was separated into different classes with 2 of them. I had more confidence in myself and I knew that I can make friends easily. Thanks to being in a different class with Sherlyn and Yee Ling, I had the chance to mix with other people and in a few day's time, I found Jenny, Jia Ying and Phei Chuin, and fitted well into their group. This time, I found my self a really mad group, a group of friends which I can really go wild with but at the same time not affecting my studies. Now, we became really close friends, and I even manage to bring the two different groups together and merge them into one, enlarging my network of friends. After this success, I'm now in search of Indian friends, so that i can learn tamil from them hehe....

Me and Jia Ying, the cutest one among us...

Don't wuhui...he's not my boyfriend, he's Dato' Ang---our class' celebrity !!! So how can i ever miss the chance to have a snapshot with a celebrity heh....

17th June 2008

Today is a memorable day. This is the day I officially step into AIMST University, a place I only see in newspaper advertisements previously. I did not feel excited at all, nor did I feel nervous about the leaving-the-nest issue. Seriously, I don’t know why, but I don’t have any feeling or emotion at all when I suddenly realize last night that in a few hours time, I’ll be leaving the comfort of the house I’ve been living since I was born, leaving my family and friends, leaving the life I’m so familiar with, and move into a new environment—all A-L-O-N-E….

I felt as if I’m dream-walking during the whole process of meeting new friends, registering, meal times and moving things up to my hostel. I was emotion-less until the time of departure had finally come. It came as a surprise that when I bid goodbye to my mom, I felt like crying. Previously, I thought since Kedah is so near to Penang and I’m able to go back home every week, I wouldn’t feel a bit homesick at all but….Luckily, I suddenly remembered that I had my contact lens on and that stopped me from crying because I don’t want my new contact lens to fall off, especially when I’d just tore up a pair several days earlier…

Watching my mom move slowly back to her car, although her back’s facing me, I can picture her sad face, worrying of what her pampered, dependent little girl will become during her stay here…From that moment onwards, I knew that nothing will ever be the same again. The house I’ve been living in since birth will never be my home again. I still get to go back there every week, but it has become more like a hotel than a home. My hostel is my home for now till I graduate 6 years later. After that, I’ll be staying in government hospital’s hostel when I service the government for the next 5 years. Then maybe if I work overseas, I’ll be staying in another different house again. I’ll never be able to really “go home” anymore until I build a family of my own, and settle down in my whole new home with a whole new family….

Then and there, I also realize that I’ll never be able to go back to my old life again. The good times which I had with my friends and the fun things we did together, will become part of my past, and the only place where I can relive it is in my memory…I wanted to continue the dancing class which I used to love so much, and go back to my Gu-Zheng teacher’s lessons, or bang my piano whenever I like. I was also hoping that I can be friends forever with my good old friends, but the door to the past had just shut right in front of me. There’s no way I could go back, and the only choice I had is to turn around, leave all my past behind my back and start the long long journey to my future…

I knew all the time that I’ll have to go through this painful transition from a kid to an adult and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy, it’s just that I didn’t expect it to happen so fast and so sudden. Deep inside my heart, I mourned for death of my past-- my childhood life, school life and life as a teenager-- to become a fully-grown adult. Right now, I’m trying all my best to adapt to my whole new life. I know I can survive, and I definitely will….